Blended Family – Nice stuff & Niggles

Blending together as a family is one thing, blending together as a couple is another matter entirely.  Its almost unheard of nowadays for couples not to have lived together before they get married, we however didn’t do the the try before you buy scenario.  Not only did not live together before we married, but haven’t done since we married either.  That is set to change in the next couple of months, and its brought to my mind recently on how I’m going to manage the transition from being a married yet singleton so to speak, to being real life couple and all that it brings with it.

I’ve lived on my own for 4 1/2 years (with the kids of course).  I’m a bit set in my ways, used to ruling the roost, making my own decisions, getting my own way pretty much all of the time (except when the kids pester power gets the better of me). Mr Daly is here only a couple of days a week, and as such has little impact on the way I go about everyday life, but there are the odd couple of things that I’ve had to take note of, little reminders along the way that he has his own way of doing things, his own foibles and little quirks.

Blending together as a couple has meant embracing the good and the bad, the odd compromise here and there, keeping a balanced and honest view of our relationship – recognising the positives and keeping them at the forefront of the relationship and accepting that there will always be a few negatives.  No one is perfect, perfection would afterall I think get boring anyway.  However, it can be so so easy to take the good bits for granted and let the little, insignificant annoyances fester.

its the small nice things I love the most.  I don’t need big gestures, hearts and flowers are a bit lost on me really.  The little things are not –

  • He walks through the door, and before doing anything else he kisses me hello
  • He is always the first to ask me how my day has gone.  What I’ve been up to, how have the kids been.  Despite him working very long hours, often being very tired and usually arriving at mine pretty late in the evening, he always puts first my need to off load my day.  Only after I’ve rattled off everything I’ve been up to, do I take a breath, and remember – his turn.
  • We’ll sit down at the dining table to catch up on our day, and he always holds my hand whilst we talk
  • No matter what I cook for dinner he remembers to thank me (and proceeds to eat the lot, thankfully he’s not a fussy eater, just a wheat intolerant vegetarian!)


Then, there are the niggles – small, insignificant things, but as insignificant as they are, they haven’t gone unnoticed!

  • He squeezes the toothpaste tube in the middle instead of at the end
  • He brings a glass of water to bed, but never takes it down again in the morning- amazing how quickly a collection builds up

niggles collage

  • I  find socks anywhere but in the washing basket
  • He uses the nicely folded towel in the bathroom, but never refolds it afterwards


But you know what, even though I give a bit of a mental ‘tut’ when I am re-folding the towel again, or a resigned sigh as I squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube back up to the top.  I also have an inward smile, a bit of a warm feeling.  Because as tiny and unimportant as these niggly things are, I’m grateful for them.  When I pick up his stocks from the bottom of the stairs and throw them in the washing basket, it reminds me that he’s here, and due to the way we currently live, thats a bonus as the majority of the time he’s not.

I recognise the fact that I am most definitely, without doubt not an easy person to live with or even be around sometimes. I would hate to see his list of niggles about me – endless is a description that springs to mind!  Quite often my stress levels are off the scale for which unfortunately my family bare the brunt of – but he accepts this, without question, with patience and understanding (and lots of hugs).  This is what I mean by me trying to keep a balanced view of our relationship – keeping and remembering constantly of what is good, what is really of value in our relationship, my husbands true worth rather than any of the occasional trivial annoyances I come across.

Blending together is a process for me that has and is taking time, patience (hmm.. need to work on that.. not my greatest attribute),  and love (we’ve got plenty of that thankfully). I am having to learn that I am not the centre of my world , we both are.  That means working together, seeing, understanding and sometimes accepting (only sometimes mind!) an opposing opinion.  I learn a lot from him – mainly a better way to deal with stuff other that screaming my head off, and I do try (not always successfully I admit).  Blending together has wanted to make me a better person, better mother, better wife (again, not always successfully, ha ha…but I’m trying)   And isn’t that the ultimate goal – to become better  and happier people together than you were apart – I hope so, thats certainly where I want to head.

Linking up with #bestandworst

Best of Worst

Summer of Love

I love summer (the sunshine in particular) and I love weddings – this weekend saw the combination of both which was fab.

Its a been a bit of a year of weddings (or just over a year if you include my own).  18 months ago Ron and I were married in what I obviously feel was the perfect wedding.


In February we had the pleasure of attending Andrew and Joannes wedding (my now brother and sister in-laws) and this weekend it was the turn of Alex and Heidi – good friends of Rons.

Being a summer wedding I took it as an opportunity to treat myself a little, so new dress, – well, how could I not.  I love a bargain (as does everybody I suppose), so how could I not when I found this little treasure – perfect colour dress to match some shoes and bag I already owned, and then when I saw the price tag I took it as a sign from heaven.. it was meant to be.

So with a new dress (at a crackingly good price!), a last minute spray tan and a home administered manicure and pedicure I was all set to enjoy watching two lovely people make a life long commitment to love, honour and cherish each other.

dress collage

We’ve had a week of glorious weather, but woke on Saturday morning to fog, drizzle, clouds – but the forecast was reassuringly good insisting that it was set to improve – and so it did.  By the time we were setting off  the sun was peaking through, just a light breeze, no fog to be seen, and blue skies were definitely on the horizon.  So the shades were on, wedding card in hand, tissues in bag – all set

Like I said, I love weddings.  Every wedding I’ve ever been to (and there have been quite a few over the years from the traditional church wedding, to the not so traditional Cancun beach wedding) are always so personal to the couple getting married, as was my own.  Ron and I were on a budget (Ron is always on a budget I might add!), we wanted small, personal, minimum fuss, pomp and ceremony.  So we opted for a low key affair at my church for close friends and family, followed by cakes and fizz (of the non alcoholic variety – being a tee totaller, and a Mormon), and my favourite bit , a bouncy castle.  I tell everyone this was for the kids of course, but one of the best moments was having a bounce with my dear dad – hilarious to say the least!  Our reception was a curry at our fav Indian restaurant, and they didn’t disappoint – credit to them, they gave us great food.

Bouncy collage

Alex and Heidi’ wedding was no exception.  Like I said, all weddings are personal to the happy couple, and this was certainly that.  The attention given to everything  was amazing, you could see and feel their personalities in every detail.  For example – arrived at the church – a lovely traditional church.


We were met by Alex – the groom – I have to say,  my initial impression caused me to raise my eyebrows ever so slightly – here was the groom in chinos, checked shirt, braces, dickie bow and jacket – not the attire you generally expect.  A cheery hello, a kiss on the cheek, and I turned round to see Josh, Alex’s best man and brother, dressed the same, and then a few of the other guys who were the groomsmen and ushers, also in the same attire. It brought a real smile to my face.  This was pure Alex, and rather than go with the traditional suit, he brought his own style to his wedding – and it worked – they looked great.


Then there was the Bride – Heidi – as she glided (and thats not an exaggeration) down the isle in a stunning princess style dress, fitted perfectly to her tiny waist (excuse me whilst I get very jealous), flowing to the floor, gorgeous lace, with a simple bouquet of gypsophila and fresh flower garland to accompany her midlength veil.  Gotta give it to her, show glowed.

To see such happiness in a couple was wonderful

heidi and alex

Heidi is a country girl, and you could see, and feel this throughout the theme of the day.  From the open sided marquee in the middle of one of her dads fields, to the relaxed layout of the tables, the favours of painted horse shoes at the place settings, jam jars filled with wild flowers decorating the tables.  Everything had a personal, almost intimate feel about it – truly drawing the guests in to the day.

marquee collage

Whilst you could feel the quality of the day, there was no doubt we were talking serious money spent on this wedding, nothing felt glitzy, blingy, showy or over the top.  It was pure understated class, that made you feel relaxed, at ease and part of the most special day of their lives.

The reception started with a yummy fruit punch for me and a Pims for my lurvly sister in-law Joanne – big smiles all round


Onwards went the day with great food (no mean feat when you’re serving 150 people + in an open marquee in the middle of a field – hats off to them I say!)  The speeches were heart warming, funny and just the right length (much to Rons relief!)

We took a mid wedding break after dinner whilst there was shift around of furniture in the marquee ready for the evening celebrations and we popped down to see Betty – my mother in-law.  Always a delight – I’m lucky enough to have a mother inlaw who is pretty fab.  Easy to get on with, non interfering, funny with a good heart whose brought her sons up well (if she reads this, I’m hoping for daughter inlaw brownie points!!)

A cuppa and half hour chat later we headed back up to the wedding to join the evenings festivities of singers, band, disco, hog roast (much to my delight and my veggie hubby’s disgust).

Sat outside the marquee, listening to the music, loving the view (really, without exaggeration the view was something that money could not buy)


hubbys arms wrapped around me – all I could think was ..summer love .. how perfect.  And with two more weddings to go this summer – great excuses for new outfits and pamper sessions – can’t wait.